Once Upon A Prayer

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Lily Strong

Last night was terrifying for me.  Lily was taking a nap when all of a sudden she woke up screaming for me.  I got up out of the chair next to her bed, confused as to why she was looking right at me but had no clue I was there.  I consoled her thinking it might be a nightmare when her panicked voice said, "Mommy, I cannot see you".  I got closer to her face and said, "Lily, mommy is right here, can you see me now?"  Sadly, her panic and anxiety only grew and she screamed, "I am upside down...help me Mommy....I am upside down!"  I ran out of the room in search of a nurse.  The ICU nurses are always right there, but no one could be found.  I finally located one and told her Lily needed a doctor immediately.  Within seconds two doctors ran into her room and started accessing the situation.  My mind was running a million miles a minute.  "Please God, no, don't take our baby", was on repeat in my head.  A desperate prayer straight from a terrified mother's heart.
With Lily still having a 6mm blood clot in her heart, the reality is that at any point and time the clot, or a piece of the clot can dislodge and go to her brain.  I have tried, and succeeded the past few days of pushing this reality out of the forefront of my mind.  But it is always there.  It will probably always be there.  The CT scan showed no major brain bleeds or blood clots.  However, the doctors are still concerned since the CT scan is not effective at locating minor bleeds or clots.  It was also discovered last night that her antithrombin 3 levels are very low, even with the high doses of heparin she is receiving.  They gave her an extra bolus of heparin, and started her on additional IV blood thinners.
 Lily is in a lot of pain.  She has been vomiting since Friday morning, has extreme diarrhea with belly pain, excrutiating pain in her head,  weakness, and an overall "yucky" feeling.  In the midst of how horrible she felt, this morning Lily spontaneously said, "Mommy, I love you!"  This began one of the sweetest conversations I have ever had with her.  I love this child with every ounce of my being.  Lily is truly the strongest, bravest, most determined to live and "get outta here" little girl I have ever met.  
I don't know what God's plan is for her life, 
but I do know that being her mommy has transformed my life. 
 I will never be the same...PRAISE GOD!
 
 
 

15 comments:

  1. Praise God, indeed. Emily, your post brought tears to my eyes and made my heart pump as if I were right there in that room with you chanting that prayer. I know how terrified you must've been, friend. Oh how I pray that Jesus heals her little body. No more upside down! What a scary feeling that had to be for Lilly!

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  2. I cannot imagine how terrifying that was! Praying for all of you!

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  3. Prayers for your sweet and adorable little girl.

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  4. Praying for Lily and your family.

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  5. More tears here and more prayers too! Bless you sweet friend and that precious angel girl- God please perform a miracle for precious Lily!

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  6. Always praying for you and sweet Lily! What a scary unfolding of events last night. Continued prayers for her forward progress...and your aching momma's heart.

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  7. Praying continually in Alabama for you all!!!!

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  8. Praying Psalm 91 over sweet Lily. My heart hurts for you.

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  9. Praying for your beautiful Lily. (I also have a Lily from china) My heart is aching for all of you!!!

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  10. I am praying for your sweet girl every day. I'm so sorry she has had to endure so much!

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  11. Praying for your sweet little girl as she endures all of this pain. And for you and your family to stay strong and know there are many people you have never met saying prayers for your sweet girl right now. God Bless you all. I am praying each day!

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  12. Hi,

    I found your blog a couple of days ago through a friend's link. I have a 4 year old daughter adopted from China who underwent 2 brain surgeries last summer (after suffering 2 strokes). I can relate to many of your feelings. Your sweet baby is on my mind and in my prayers constantly.

    Lindsey

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  13. Praying for your precious family!

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  14. I don't know you but found your blog through my daughter. I am praying for your sweet Lily and for your family. May His presence and peace uphold you and may the power of God's healing touch Lily.

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  15. Praying for your sweet Lily.

    Colleen- also mom to an Inner Mongolia princess

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