Godwink

Today I experienced a miracle...a Godwink.  A Godwink is what I refer to as a reminder from God that He is all knowing, all powerful, and in control of every little thing that happens to us.

I received an email today from Patty, Juliana’s Guardian Angel.  Her adoption agency, Wasatch, was the one who pulled Juliana’s file from the shared list yesterday!  An agency consultant, Sabrina, put Juliana's file on a 72 hour hold.  Wasatch getting her file was truly "accidental"...it was a Godwink. Sabrina didn't know she was actually getting that file since all of the Wasatch families had already had the opportunity to review Juliana's file.  Ironically, when all the new files from the Oct. 29th shared list came out, Wasatch sent Patty the files they got, but only one file came through on her email.  All the other files bounced back. The one file that came to Patty was Juliana's.

That's when Patty sent this email to Kathy:

Dear Kathy,

This is Juliana.... PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE be the HERO.  My friend Emily has loved this little girl with all her heart, soul and mind ever since I was the first one to get her file.

She and her husband DESPERATELY... like you have NEVER had a family before... WANT this little one... even with two years to live.

PLEASE tell me you can give her to them.  She has LOI written through her agency.  We have emailed over 100 times in the last 3 months about Juliana.

Patty

A few phone calls later, I had an email in my inbox with the golden ticket.  Kathy emailed Patty the exact day and time that Juliana would be released back to the shared list so that our family could lock her file.

Here is what Kathy emailed back:

Sabrina and I are fine and excited to release her to this family.  However it has to go through the computer so below is the EXACT time (and day her file will be released back to the shared list.  Who is the agency?  They better be willing to stay up late and get this file for her!!!!  My heart is beating so fast right now because I am so happy for this family.  Ahhh - this makes my night!  This is what adoption is all about truly!

Her file will be released at 10:30 pm on 11/2/2011 PST.  Good luck!!

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us (Ephesians 3:20).

Thank you Jesus for hearing our desperate cries for our sweet daughter!

No Luck

Our agency consultant searched the shared list for us, and she was unable to find Juliana.  Either the family decided to proceed with her adoption, or she was picked up by another agency.  Several people have their eyes and ears open for our family to see where Juliana ended up. 

I’m not sure how much more my heart can take...

Broken System

My biggest fear came true.  Our agency consultant called Juliana’s agency today, and found out that her file was pulled by CCCWA last night. She said that it went to the shared list but then disappeared within a few minutes. It's likely that an agency has it locked for one of their families.  Our consultant will check back in around 72 hours to see if the family decided to proceed or perhaps send her back to the shared list. 

I am still in shock, and furious at this broken system.

Injustice

As of today, hundreds of families have reviewed Juliana’s file, and every single family has turned her down since she has the diagnosis of “terminal”.  Our agency consultant called Juliana’s agency today, and she was told that the family who was seriously considering her is still considering.  She was told to call back on Friday. 

Every month, China releases a Shared List of all the children with special needs who are available for adoption.  At the very moment the list is released, adoption agencies all over the world search through the list and “lock” files for their clients to consider.  The family only has 72 hours to proceed with the child’s adoption or else they are sent back to the shared list.  Adoption agencies can also request to have a specific child assigned to their agency for 90 days so that they can try to place that child with one of their families. 

At this point, Juliana has been on her agency’s individual list for 135 days.  My biggest fear is that the CCCWA will remove Juliana from the agency she is with, and then she will end up back on the shared list.  Once Juliana hits the shared list, she will likely bounce from agency to agency and face rejection after rejection. 

The injustice of this all is that JULIANA HAS A FAMILY!  

Be Strong and Corageous

This morning while I was doing my bible study, the verse I was focusing
on was Joshua 1:9

Be strong and courageous.  

Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, 

for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you will go.

Oh how I needed that this morning!  Jacques and I are desperate to share Jesus with Juliana.  I was feeling really discouraged when I woke up this morning.  FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real) keeps creeping in that a non-Christian family will adopt her.  If she only has 2 years to live on this earth, I want her to live with the knowledge that death is NOT the end.  I am not of the mindset that our family is better than any other.  I know there are moms out there who are crafty and can sew beautiful clothing for their little ones...I cannot even sew a button.  I know there are dads who make more money than my husband and I put together.  BUT, one thing we make sure our children know from the very day they are born (or adopted) is that Jesus loves them.  There is no sweeter sound to my ears than hearing my 3-year-old thanking Jesus in her prayers for dying on the cross "to make her sins go away".  My 6 year old has a faith and belief in Jesus Christ that cannot be shaken.  She is our little evangelist and boldly brings Christ into her public school...every...single...day! 

We have already sent a care package to our daughter in Shanghai along with a letter telling her how much we love her and Jesus loves her.  What a privilege it would be to be the Mommy who gets to teach Juliana how to sing "Jesus loves me". 

Oh how I pray that I get the chance...